Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How Stephen King Ruined My Life

Stephen did. Really. Ok, so I'm exaggerating.....a little. Thanks to him, I have a fear of hotels and other things. I've also learned a lot from him, too.

After reading, "The Shining" and watching the movie, I can no longer walk down long hallways without picturing those bloody little girls. They are waiting. Mimicking me. Taunting me.

Stephen is good. To be that awesome of a writer, where certain words can change you.

So here I go. Down the long hallway. At least I'm not riding my tricycle type thing.
I walk with my head down, looking at my feet. Steve usually laughing at me, because he knows. So he starts whispering my name all freaky sounding. Thanks, I say, add to my terror. As I pass each room, I wonder, "Did something happen in there?" OH, I hope not. Thanks, I want to tell Stephen.

I check my room number to make sure that it's not "1408" or any other number that might equal to 13. Thanks, Stephen King. You and hotels. I check my room to make sure there's no one hiding in the closet or under the bed or no freaky lady laying in the bathtub or in the corner or nothing written in red on the mirror or.......Get a hold of yourself, girl, it's not real! Or is it.....

Every little noise in the hotel seems to tease me. I hear pops, noises. Ugh. Will this night ever end? Thank goodness my radio does not come on playing, "Close to You."

Oh, Stephen, did you realize that I can't walk past a sewage drain without thinking of Pennywise the Clown? Thanks. I hurry past.

And if I were to ever get inside an old 1950's type car and the music plays oldies, I will make sure that I'm not eating a chocolate Ding Dong. I'm outta here. Thanks, Stephen.

Can I ever look at a growling dog without thinking that he may be another Cujo? I think twice when I hear a dog growling behind me.

Oh, and don't ever make fun of another person. She may get angry and burn the school down. Never tick off anyone named Carrie.

Everytime the flu season rolls around, I wonder: is this it? Hopefully no superflu will ever wipe out most of us to where we dream of an old lady in a cornfield or a black crow who sits on power lines. Please, I will never walk through the Holland Tunnel.

I hope no one ever comes up to me and says, "I'm your biggest fan."

Vampires, forget it. Corn fields.....I will never go there.

Well, Stephen, you did it. Your talented writing has provoked the fear in me. I love it and it scares me at the same time. But that's what you wanted right? Well, sir, you have succeeded. I hope that one day I can follow in your footsteps. :)

1 comment:

  1. So True! Shelby loves Stephen King. I cannot even look at the cover of the book when she is reading.